A lot of parenting advice articles have popped up on my Facebook newsfeed lately and it inspired me to write this post and really think about my parenting “style”. I guess I am an instinctive style parent…not sure if that category of parenting really exists, but I purely parent off of my instincts, past experiences and knowledge of life and children etc. Now, I’m not saying that I never read articles or I don’t look things up when I’m stumped on soemthing Nealia did. But, really I kind of go with the flow and figure it out as things arise. I don’t read too much or too little and I don’t believe one method is the best. There are some that I feel more drawn too and connected too such as the idea of a Montessori approach in education and the Madga Gerber approach and RIE parenting has some great things attached to it as well. I mostly just try to stay calm and be rational with dicsipline. I try not to have too much structure..routine yes, but children are different every day and you have to be flexible to that. If Nealia doesn’t want to eat I don’t force her too, but she has to try things and sit down and have dinner as a family-on most days this is! Her daily nap varies each day…as long as she eats a good one in, whether it be in a car or in her bed as long as it’s at least 1.5 hours-usually it’s longer–she’s good to go. It naturally falls between 12pm-2pm starting time for the nap, but it depends on the day and how early she wakes up. We start the bedtime routine on most normal days around 8pm, but when we’re traveling or busy it fluctuates. (We’re trying to get back on some kind of loose schedule since we returned from a very long visit to Wisconsin). Anyways, what I’m trying to say is that we’re flexible. I want Nealia to know that when she looks back at this blog when she’s older that her mom wasn’t trying to overdue it to make her a little robot- that I let her be a kid and enjoy life and to find happiness in the little things! I think with all of the access these days to social media and just access to any piece of info you want that parents feel like they have to do everything perfect and speak to their kids perfectly. We have that pressure to be the best we can be and parents read all the books they can get their hands on and take classes on how to be a great parent–but what happened to good old fashioned figure it out, do what feels right…we’re living beings and naturally we instinctively react to things…we need to trust ourselves more on what’s right for us and our children and not read too much into all these new fad parenting ideas!…it just isn’t natural to me…sometimes you want to laugh when they say something inappropriate or repeat a bad word or when they do something naughty you want to yell or not use “polite” words or the perfect sentence to discipline them. I guess it goes back to the old adage everything in moderation.
But, I did stumble upon this article awhile back and it hit close to home. I’ve been using it to try to understand Nealia better and really “get” her. Knowing what type of child she is has been so useful for everything in parenting and educating her and helps me develop my own instinctive parenting style. Here is the link…Enjoy!
By the way Nealia is hands down a “determined” child haha! (Like I ddidnt know this already since the day she was born😀)
And this is just plain perfect…the don’t give a fuck what people think parenting method! (Pardon my French)